Wednesday, August 30, 2017

P U R P O S E in Marriage

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam."
That quote from the Princess Bride always pops in my head when I say "marriage". I don't even love that movie (the giant rat/pig animals creep me out)  haha :)

Anyways, today I was going to talk about purpose in home life, but I felt God guiding me a different direction. So, today we will be talking about purpose in marriage!

I just want to reiterate that this is about purpose IN marriage. Not the purpose OF marriage. 
The purpose OF marriage is to glorify God because it is a picture of how Christ loves his church-his bride. 
However, purpose IN marriage is something that really makes me excited. 
I have only been married 2 years, so I am no expert by any means. We still have a lottttttt to learn. But from what I have learned in the last two years is what I feel led to share today. 

Matthew is my best friend. He was that person that I met and felt like I had known My whole life. We just "clicked". I know without a doubt he is the one God created for me, and even more so now, 2 years later. 
 When we got married, everything changed overnight- literally.  The first 9ish months of our marriage was hard. It had some great times and definitely some not so great times..but I am so thankful for it because we grew so much during that first year of marriage. We grew in our faith, in our maturity, in our relationship to each other. That year was just a growth year, and I look back on it with joy. 
But during that time, I was not wife of the year. I can tell you that right now. Let's just say Matthew deserves husband of the year for the rest of his life for loving me so selflessly while I was adjusting to all the newness. I was a mess, y'all. I mean, I am a messy person quite literally, and I could not keep a house clean to save my life. (Matthew is a neat freak sooo, all I can say is..poor guy )(insert laughing emoji here). 
Here's the thing, the devil hates marriage. And I think he definitely hates young marriages with two people who love the Lord. We had a target on our back and he wanted to shoot us down. But here's the thing. I let him. I felt lonely. I replayed mean things that people had said over and over like an old tape recorder whenever we got into a fight. I saw Matthew as the enemy when in reality he is this amazing gift that the Lord made just for me. I gave the devil a foothold (ephesians 4:27) and he ran with it.

The Lord truly redeemed our marriage. 
I mean if you had gotten a glimpse of our hearts a year and a half ago, and then got a glimpse of our hearts now-you would just see Jesus. Because he mended all the broken and replaced it with His joyful love. 
Here are some things He has taught me through marriage, and things trusted mentors have taught me as well:

1. Don't just say whatever you're thinking. 
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.- Ephesians 4:29
If you have something that you want to say, but it is not uplifting or gives grace. Then don't say anything at all. Get outside. Go for a walk. But do not say anything that will tear down your spouse. It will just chisel away at their heart one word at a time. 

2. The devil hates marriage-remember that. Your husband is not the enemy. The devil wants nothing more than for godly marriages to be broken. For you and your husband to be annoyed/angry/bitter with each other. Your number 1 ministry is within your home. Your husband first, then kids, if you have them. "and give no opportunity to the devil."- ephesians 4:27

3. PRAY PRAY PRAY for your husband. This goes along with point #2 . The best way to love your husband well and prevent seeing him as the enemy in the midst and emotions is prayer. Lift him up daily. Pray for his walk with Christ, for his health, career, motives, and passions. Pray for him intentionally and let him know you're praying for him. There's nothing better you could do for him. "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."-James 5:16

4. Make intimacy a priority. I know this is TMI here, but it is important. Someone once told me that intimacy is the barometer of a marriage to let you know how it's going. God created you to enjoy each other. To be the best of friends and share everything together. 

5. Remember that life is so so short. Is what you're upset about really important in the light of eternity? Ask yourself that question daily. Know that the time you have with your spouse is short. So thank God for the time you have with him each day. Glorify him by loving each other well. 
"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."-psalm 90:12


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