P U R P O S E in Marriage

"Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam."

That quote from the Princess Bride always pops in my head when I say "marriage". I don't even love that movie (the giant rat/pig animals creep me out)  haha :)

Anyways, today I was going to talk about purpose in home life, but I felt God guiding me a different direction. So, today we will be talking about purpose in marriage!

I just want to reiterate that this is about purpose IN marriage. Not the purpose OF marriage. 

The purpose OF marriage is to glorify God because it is a picture of how Christ loves his church-his bride. 

However, purpose IN marriage is something that really makes me excited. 

I have only been married 2 years, so I am no expert by any means. We still have a lottttttt to learn. But from what I have learned in the last two years is what I feel led to share today. 

Matthew is my best friend. He was that person that I met and felt like I had known My whole life. We just "clicked". I know without a doubt he is the one God created for me, and even more so now, 2 years later. 

 When we got married, everything changed overnight- literally.  The first 9ish months of our marriage was hard. It had some great times and definitely some not so great times..but I am so thankful for it because we grew so much during that first year of marriage. We grew in our faith, in our maturity, in our relationship to each other. That year was just a growth year, and I look back on it with joy. 

But during that time, I was not wife of the year. I can tell you that right now. Let's just say Matthew deserves husband of the year for the rest of his life for loving me so selflessly while I was adjusting to all the newness. I was a mess, y'all. I mean, I am a messy person quite literally, and I could not keep a house clean to save my life. (Matthew is a neat freak sooo, all I can say is..poor guy )(insert laughing emoji here). 

Here's the thing, the devil hates marriage. And I think he definitely hates young marriages with two people who love the Lord. We had a target on our back and he wanted to shoot us down. But here's the thing. I let him. I felt lonely. I replayed mean things that people had said over and over like an old tape recorder whenever we got into a fight. I saw Matthew as the enemy when in reality he is this amazing gift that the Lord made just for me. I gave the devil a foothold (ephesians 4:27) and he ran with it.

The Lord truly redeemed our marriage. 

I mean if you had gotten a glimpse of our hearts a year and a half ago, and then got a glimpse of our hearts now-you would just see Jesus. Because he mended all the broken and replaced it with His joyful love. 

Here are some things He has taught me through marriage, and things trusted mentors have taught me as well:

1. Don't just say whatever you're thinking. 

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.- Ephesians 4:29

If you have something that you want to say, but it is not uplifting or gives grace. Then don't say anything at all. Get outside. Go for a walk. But do not say anything that will tear down your spouse. It will just chisel away at their heart one word at a time. 

2. The devil hates marriage-remember that. Your husband is not the enemy. The devil wants nothing more than for godly marriages to be broken. For you and your husband to be annoyed/angry/bitter with each other. Your number 1 ministry is within your home. Your husband first, then kids, if you have them. "and give no opportunity to the devil."- ephesians 4:27

3. PRAY PRAY PRAY for your husband. This goes along with point #2 . The best way to love your husband well and prevent seeing him as the enemy in the midst and emotions is prayer. Lift him up daily. Pray for his walk with Christ, for his health, career, motives, and passions. Pray for him intentionally and let him know you're praying for him. There's nothing better you could do for him. "The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."-James 5:16

4. Make intimacy a priority. I know this is TMI here, but it is important. Someone once told me that intimacy is the barometer of a marriage to let you know how it's going. God created you to enjoy each other. To be the best of friends and share everything together. 

5. Remember that life is so so short. Is what you're upset about really important in the light of eternity? Ask yourself that question daily. Know that the time you have with your spouse is short. So thank God for the time you have with him each day. Glorify him by loving each other well. 

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."-psalm 90:12

P U R P O S E in Discipleship

This series on Purpose is so important to me. It is honestly something that the Lord has been teaching me over the last few years- sculpting and molding my mindset into understanding why I am here and what will make this life count. 

By no means is my life put together. But sometimes the Lord teaches me something and I feel a burden to share it - to put that light on display in case someone else needed to hear it too. 

That's the reason I have this blog-but I want you to know that I'm preaching to my own heart too. 

Let's dig in...

Discipleship: 

I have been discipling girls for the past 3-4 years, and here are 7 things that I have learned through the process: 

1. Speak to them with COMPLETE honesty and vulnerability.

          You have gone through everything in your life for a reason. Anything you have done or said could be used for God's glory and is meant for God's glory. It is up to you to share. 

 There are things I went through in high school that seemed to me to have zero reason-but believe it or not, a few years later and a girl in our youth reached out and was going through the same kinda thing. It was right then that a light bulb came on in my head and I realized- nothing was wasted. Not one second of my sin. The Lord redeems and He chooses to use us in someone else's life to point back to Him. 

2. Teach them what you've learned and grow together.

When you are in tune with the Lord, He is constantly teaching you. And when you are discipling someone, I think it is important to share with them what He is teaching you and vice versa. Discipleship should be an evolving thing. Maybe at the beginning you should be doing all the sharing, but as they grow and mature, they should start to share more what He is teaching them as they learn. Remember, you are equipping them to disciple someone else, not to remain dormant where they are. 

3. Be painfully honest.

You have a commitment to the people you disciple. A commitment that is not just for the good times of fellowship, but also for the hard times of sin. When you see them living in sin, it is your responsibility to confront them about it in a loving way. One way I have learned to approach this is to start by calling out all the good things in them and why I am so proud of them, but then let them know that there is one thing you would like to talk to them about that you've noticed isn't in line with the gospel.

 I would highly recommend that you not come to them about whatever issue this is until you have prayed over it and have scripture to back yourself up. No one likes being told they are wrong, and we are in no position to get on to someone just because we don't like something they are doing. Our job is to point them to Christ and the goal is to see them become more like HIM, not someone we think they should be. 

4. Pray for them. Pray for them. Pray for them. 

This is your highest calling. 

"Prayer does not fit us for the greater work, prayer is the greater work."-Oswald Chambers

Do not minimize prayer because you are "too busy". 

Consistently coming to the feet of Jesus interceding for these people that you disciple is the best thing you could ever do for them. It paints the perfect picture of how Jesus intercedes for us to the Father. What a beautiful thought! How it must make the Fathers heart burst with joy to see His children praying for His other children!

(btw, I know this is pictures of boys..I do not disciple boys nor do I think girls should disciple boys, but I just thought this was the sweetest picture I got during worship practice! The young guys want to be just like David in our youth group. He's good with them! )

5.  Invite them into your family.

        Discipleship should be an intimate thing. Look at these verses from Acts 2:46-47:

And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

It may look like a filtered coffee date every now and then, but true discipleship is outside the coffeehouse. Discipleship invites them into your home to see real Christ-like love being displayed in real actual life. It is an open invitation to your home as a safe haven. It is friendship, but ultimately, they need to be as close as family. 

Look at verse 47 again..."and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved"

Discipleship works. People see that this is the real deal and want to know more about this Jesus we speak of. Telling them what you believe is one thing, but seeing you actually living it consistently in your day to day life is completely another.  

6. Be an EXAMPLE. 

      Live your life how you're teaching it. Live in such a way you would be proud of them to live. In public and in private.

For example, there is a person in my life in a leadership role that has let me down multiple times in ministry. It made me bitter and I would "vent" (gossip) to Matthew and my mom. The people I disciple didn't see that, but it was polluting my heart and grieving the Holy Spirit of God, making me lose sensitivity to His Spirit. It outpoured into my life and inhibited my ministry (exactly what the devil wanted). The Lord wanted me to love this person anyways. To pray for them and encourage them. That's what I would want the girls I disciple to do. But I wasn't doing that and when I stopped and decided to pray about it rather than talk about it, I was free. Free to love them. Free to set a good example even in the private things they didn't ever see.   

Ultimately, discipleship holds you accountable to keep you pure in your thoughts, words, and actions-whether they see it or not.   

7. Don't try to do it all. 

    These people you disciple need you. They need you to make enough time to meet with them weekly and pray for them daily. Discipleship is not when you feel like it- it's a commitment to their life. You have entered a new responsibility. It's a serious thing. 

Disciple as many people as your schedule allows. For example, if you have lots of time on your hands and you think you can disciple 10 girls, awesome!

 But if you are in college, have a job, and are studying all night and can only fully commit to one person, then that's awesome too. Don't try to do it all-because this is a big responsibility with eternity in mind. 

Remember, Jesus was fully God and fully man and he only had 12 disciples. 

These are just some things that I have learned through the years. The reason I know any of these things is because I have messed up on every single one of these points along the way and learned from them.  I didn't always pray for them like I should, I have taken on too much at points in my life, and I haven't always set a good example. 

See, the Lord in gracious to teach us in spite of our sin and failures. 

I am so thankful to serve a God of second chances! 

Also thankful for these girls who have taught me more than I have probably ever taught them. Love them with my whole stinkin heart. 

-Lace

P U R P O S E series

PURPOSE.

What is your purpose? 

Why were you born and why are you still living? 

Why do you do what you do?

Why do you go about your ordinary day the way you do?

Why do you eat what you eat?

Why do you wake up and go to work or stay home, or do whatever it is you do day in and day out?

These are questions I don't think we ever really think about. And if we're not careful, our days will consume us without purpose. 

We will go about our days shuffling here and there and at the end of the day think "What did I even get done today?"

It is so important to regularly evaluate yourself. To take thought about what you are doing with your life because there is a very real reality that one day..when your time is up..you will face your Creator and you'll also be faced with what you did in your short time on earth. 

Did anything you do have meaning?

In the past few years, there have been a lot of changes in my life: Matthew and I became youth leaders, I got married, had to figure out how to live on our own, lost friendships, gained friendships, went to dental hygiene school, got a lot of student loans, bought a house,  became a dental hygienist... and these are just the big changes.

In these years of changes I have learned a lot about the Lord. There has been a lot of sanctification going on in my life through each new process. I have had to learn to primarily trust in the Lord for every single thing. And through it all I have seen His hand in every circumstance. 

I have realized that He is in every single thing. Even the smallest things. Even in the things that may seem "radical" even to other believers. And He desires and deserves to be glorified in every sanction of life. 

That is why I have decided to write this short devotional series. Because He deserves to be glorified.

And I believe He loves for His children to share what He has taught them. 

Here are some of the topics I will cover over the next few weeks. I will post one each Tuesday morning! 

 Discipleship

 Fitness

 Home Life

 Community

 Marriage

I have learned that the more I grow in the Lord, the more He expects of me. (Luke 12:48)

I had already written this and it was saved as a draft, when I read a post by Beth Moore..she says it perfectly: 

"Over the course of the last five years, one of the things I believe God has consistently made clear to me is that He’d require more in my later years than less.  Coasting was out of the question. If I wanted to teach and minister under an increasing anointing, for instance, or bear fruit more profusely or see bona fide breakthroughs in the Body of Christ and true wonders of God in the midst of ministry, I’d have to press in further, go deeper with Him in His Word, get bolder in love, service, prayer and get mightier in battle. Humbler in spirit. Some of the need for pressing in further as time goes on can probably be explained by Revelation 12:12. Satan is furious because he knows his time is short. Each generation will either get stronger in battle or sink further and further into defeat. But I also think God’s increased requirement was for my good. What once came a little easier, I’d now have to fight for. I’d have to want it desperately. Cry out for it." 

https://blog.lproof.org/2017/08/is-this-it-is-this-what-jesus-meant.html

That was a little long, but it could not be shortened. That is exactly how I feel. It continues to blow my mind how when God is trying to teach me something, He will keep putting it right in my face so I can't possibly miss it. 

He knows how human I am, and I am fully aware how incapable I am without Him. 

So here we go. I will pour out my heart and be totally open to you all, because I think raw, real life is how God intended for people to connect with one another.  

Check back in next Tuesday - August 15th for the first post! 

In Him,  Lace

Something's Gotta Give

I recently read a quote by Oswald Chambers that said "If sin rules in me, God's life in me will be killed; if God rules in me, sin in me will be killed. There is no possible ultimate but that."

There is no simpler statement to a life of pursuing Christ than this.

I used to think in such a way that did not believe that God could purify me from all sin. 

My thought processes went something like this: "I will never be sinless (true), I will never be a perfect follower of Christ (true), so I will just try a little harder and it's ok if I slip cause I know He will forgive me later."

All of those are true statements, but it was the state of my heart that was wrong. 

You see ultimately what it boiled down to was this: I didn't fully believe that God could rescue me from my sin and set me in a place of freedom. I lacked faith in who he is and the redemptive work He did on the cross. I didn't fully believe in the power that the Holy Spirit freely gives to us who believe.

That sounds a little harsh and you're probably thinking that if that was the case then I should have gone back to "christianity 101". 

But I truly think that many well meaning believers get caught in this thought process.

We feel held captive by a specific sin. Maybe it's seems little like overeating or gossiping, maybe it seems big like lust and sexual sin. (All sin is equal, but I think believers can still get caught in thinking that the "norm" such as gossiping is less sinful than something such as sex before marriage.) Either way, you don't think you could ever escape it- and what it comes down to is a lack of faith in the power of God. 

I attempted to stop specific sin patterns on my own. I would try a little harder but guess what..I would always end up unable to stop out of my own will. 

The truth is, we are all going to sin and fall short (Romans 3:23). We will never be perfect. But the same power that rose Jesus from the dead lives in us as believers. He empowers us to say no to sin and to pursue righteousness. We just have to be diligent, be on guard, and seek after God for all we're worth. 

1 Peter 5:8-9a says: 

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in your faith.

Honestly, I was so sure of God's sovereign care, but I took it as a means to live carelessly. Carelessly in the fact that I was not standing on guard in my faith. I was not prayerfully watching my steps and seeking God's guidance. I would read my bible every day but not fully commit to change my actions because in the back of my mind I knew that I would screw it up again. On my own, I could not escape it. 

I was living in a state of defeat, not standing in the victory God had already given me.

The devil and his forces are constantly on the prowl. He is looking for way to distract, tempt, and discourage believers. 

This is the greek word for devil. It means "slanderer".

The devil would like nothing more than for Christ followers to believe that they cannot escape sin. Sin causes divisions in your vertical and horizontal relationships. 

Vertical: your relationship with God 

Horizontal: your relationship with others

Satan will do anything he can to put a division in your walk with Christ and in your ministry to others. Satan is not dumb. Take a look at this verse: 

The thief comes only in order to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life - life in all its fullness. (John 10:10)

He knows how to tempt you , and his mission is to kill, steal, and destroy.

Jesus tells us that He came to give us LIFE. LIFE IN ALL IT'S FULLNESS!

Let's take a look at the second part of that quote. It says "If God lives in me, sin will be killed."

If following God's ways is our highest priority, sin in us will be killed. Just taking one day at a time, choosing to obey Christ .

And as believers we have the Holy Spirit.

WOW. Just take a minute and read that again...we have the HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD 

living in us

empowering us

equipping us

What more do we need?

Nothing.

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence."

2 Peter 1:3

Weeds, words, and the Word

Weeds.

Just about every garden I have ever seen has them. 

They grow seemingly over night and unless you are persistent about uprooting them, they will choke the life out of the beauty that is growing in your flower bed. 

Today I was out in a flower bed, working before the sun became too hot to bear. My mama was on her way to come help me but for about 15 minutes I had the place to myself. It was quiet with just the sound of cars passing by and birds chirping. The job of pulling weeds was almost relaxing. 

But as I was working, my hands digging deep into the soil to get the very base of the root, the Lord began speaking to me. Not in an audible voice, but a whisper to my soul. 

He said "This flower bed is like your heart, Lace. You have let certain sins not only form but take root in your life. Some of them are new, and will be simple to get rid of. But others have taken deep, deep root in your heart. To the point it will take some yanking and pulling and maybe even a little pain."

I continued to work, pulling up the deep seated roots of the flower bed as the sun began to grow higher and hotter. I began to think of the areas in my life where I haven't been obedient. The areas of my life where I haven't been a good steward of what the Lord has given me. Relationships, habits, attitudes, and self care flashed through my mind. With each weed I pulled up I asked forgiveness for the areas in which I have allowed complacency to settle in and become home to me. 

You see, if we are not careful, the weeds will take over the flower bed creating a mess and killing off the beauty that it was designed for. 

We were designed to be beautiful souls. To display the beauty of Christ every where. Yes, while we are still here on earth in sinful vessels, there will still be the opportunity for weeds (sin) to work it's way back into our life, but we have the power to uproot them in the name of Jesus. 

We need to uproot them as quickly as we notice they are rearing their ugly head. 

Our lives will show the symptoms of weeds growing in our heart. We will display beautiful flowers, or withered flowers who have been choked out by weeds and the inability for water to nourish us.  

That is the biggie, weeds prevent the water from fully nourishing the roots of plants.

Similarly, sin prevents the Word from nourishing our soul. 

This is the thing about pulling these weeds out of our lives..it takes work. This seems to be a touchy subject and I want to emphasize the fact that it is not work that earns our salvation. Faith alone grants us salvation. However, we cannot continue to do the same things we have always done and expect God to pull all the weeds while we continue on in our behaviors and habits. God gives us free will (1 corinthians 10:23) and we also gives us His Spirit to supernaturally help us rid our life of sin. We CANNOT do it on our own. But we must do our part.

 If it is gossiping, you must deliberately choose to shut your mouth and choose to change what you're thinking about.

If it is laziness, you must choose to get up and do something productive.

If it is gluttony, you must choose to step away and have self control. (2 timothy 1:7)

If it is judging others, you must choose to ask forgiveness immediately and train your brain to think about at least one thing good about that person you have the habit of judging. 

If it is pride, you must continually ask forgiveness when it rears its ugly head and choose to find ways of putting others before yourself.

If it is complaining, you must decide for yourself to choose joy and to see the good in whatever situation you are in. (philippians 4:11)

These are just some ideas. Things the Lord has taught me in my walk with Him. Talk to Him and ask Him to help you find ways to actively fight against the sin patterns in your life. (ephesians 6:10-18)
This is kingdom work.
This is sanctification. 

Today, I am thankful for a God who gives such a powerful word even in the most mundane of tasks and for His grace which never runs out. 

Psalm 1:1-3

Blessed is the one
    who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
    or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord,
    and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
    which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
    whatever they do prospers.

You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is good for you. You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is beneficial. 1 corinthians 10:23

Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude. -Colossians 2:6-7

Romans 8:11

If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

Philippians 1:21-22

 For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. 22 If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. 

Colossians 4:2

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.

Colossians 3

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

2 Timothy 1:7

God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self control.

Titus 2:11-14

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.

Ephesians 6:10-18

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.